My Name is Bella
by loverunknown
Summary: An accident leaves abuse victim Bella Swan with no one and no memory except for that of her name, and the strange man haunting her dreams. Salvation comes in the form of the Cullens, but will she let them become the family she never had? Can anyone, even someone as pained as Jasper, ever heal the wounds left by an angry father?
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

"Excuse me miss… Can you hear me?"

I slowly began to blink, and my eyes hurt from the intrusion of light. _What happened?_ I tried to take in my surroundings. I was in a forest, on the damp floor of soil, and fifty feet away sat the remnants of a motorcycle. I knew the scene had to be the product of a tragedy, but I had no idea of what it could have been. Remembering the voice that had pulled me from my unconsciousness, I looked up.

Above me towered a lanky but exquisetly beautiful man. I had never seen a human so pale, but so breathtaking. He looked to be about 17, with boyish messy bronze hair. He bore a striking, yet subtle resemblance to the man who had been haunting my dreams for quite some time. I didn't know him, but there was a face that often appeared to my subconscious with the same pale features and perfect structure. The familiarity was confusing, but I welcomed it. Was he an angel? Was this heaven? _Not exactly what I had in mind…_

His concerned face softened into a gentle smile when he realized I was looking at him. "Miss? Are you alright? Can you hear me?"

I opened my mouth to answer him, and was disgruntled to find that my voice sounded shaky and unsure as I replied. "Ye- um… Yes. Could you… tell me what happened?" I struggled to get through the sentence, but he patiently waited. In fact, he looked thrilled to hear me speak at all.

"Of course. My girlfriend and I were hiking through the woods, and we came across the scene of your motorcycle accident. She went to get help, and I stayed with you until that help arrives. You appear to only have minor cuts and bruises, but I'm sorry I cannot say the same for your bike." He paused, and gestured grimly to the torn up scraps of metal near us that supposedly belonged to me. "You do, however," He continued, "appear to have some preexisting injuries. My father is a doctor, and I'm sure he would be willing to take care of those for you." He searched my eyes, awaiting a reaction. "You don't remember any of this, do you?"

I silently shook my head, in quiet shock over what had apparently happened to me. How could this have happened, and me not remember any of it? Could what he said be true?

"Well then," He pursed his lips. "I suppose you hit your head as well. Can I carry you to my house? It is not far from here." He asked warily.

I hesitated. I didn't know this man, or if his story was true. I did not know if accompanying a stranger to his house was something I normally would do, or if it was wise. I looked once more into his kind gaze, and something in me said it was okay to trust him.

"Okay."

"Okay?" He grinned.

"Okay." I nodded in small confirmation, my voice still sounding vile and uncomfortable.

He reached down to pick me up, and carefully maneuvered my injured body into his arms as if I weighed nothing. His arms were seemingly carved out of ice, but I was otherwise comfortable. Once I was settled, he looked down at me softly and began to walk. "I'm Edward, by the way. Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you, though I wish it were under different circumstances. Do you remember your name by any chance?"

"Umm…" I thought for a minute. After a few seconds of struggling, however, it came to me. "Bella. My name is Bella!"

He chuckled to himself. "Well Bella, I'm glad to make your acquaintance."

He began to tell me all about his family, so I would know where I was headed. I think he was secretly just trying to keep me awake in case I had a concussion or something, but I didn't mind the distraction. I heard firstly about his girlfriend, Alice. I couldn't help but smile as his face lit up while he went on about her exuberant ways. He probably would have kept going too if I hadn't politely intervened. "So is it just you and Alice then?"

"Oh, forgive me. No. There are my adoptive parents, Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle is perhaps the most compassionate and kindhearted man alive," He stopped to laugh at something, but I didn't get what was funny. "Carlisle is the doctor, and he will be examining you. Esme is a perfect match for him. She's a dear, and it takes her about two seconds for her to welcome you into her heart completely. I think you'll like her." As he continued telling me about the tenacious Rosalie and goofy Emmett, I couldn't help but notice that I was nearing a home where everyone was paired up. Was Dr. Cullen some kind of adoptive matchmaker or something?

As we arrived at the house, Edward finished his summary of its inhabitants. "And then there's Jasper… He's a very interesting man... He- Well, I guess you'll see for yourself." He finished as he walked me into the door of the fairytale-looking mansion. _Of course. It's only fitting for angels to live in mansions._

Edward walked me straight up the staircase, leaving me little time to observe the beauty of the house. We came to a door and before he even raised his hand to knock, someone answered. "Yes Edward, bring her in."

I closed my eyes, hoping for just one moment of peace before I let myself fall into the care of yet another stranger. I couldn't process what was happening to me or where I was, and it was entirely overwhelming. Why couldn't I remember my home, or my family? Was my life so insignificant that it was so easily forgotten? And most of all, why was I able to remember the face of a man I've never met? The cold but loving gaze of an inhuman lover, who only appeared in my dreams?

As Edward led me through the door, I held onto the one thing I knew: Bella. My name is Bella.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Kind eyes greeted me. The same kind of liquidy honey colored eyes belonging to Edward. The same kind of topaz colored eyes belonging to Mr. Dream Guy. There was definitely something weird going on here.

"Hi, I'm Carlisle Cullen. Welcome to our home. This is my office." A long, paper-white hand extended out to me to shake. I did, shyly, and was once again struck by the freezing temperature.

"Umm… Hello. I'm Bella." I said quietly, trying to be polite. I looked questioningly at Edward, who simply nodded in encouragement.

"Very nice to meet you Bella. I'm sure Edward has told you that I work as a doctor, and he seems to think it would be beneficial for me to help you. Would that be okay?" I could see the compassion in his eyes, and granted him permission to do so. Maybe he could doctor my memory back into place or something.

"I'm glad to hear it. Now Edward, if you will excuse us, I will take Isabella into my examination room."

I felt my eyes widen at the mention of Edward leaving. It sounded pathetic, but for the moment, he was the only friend I had. I was scared and confused, and I could use his friendly face. Carlisle, taking this in, edited his former request. "Of course, Edward may stay if you are comfortable with that." I nodded thankfully, and he smiled at me. Edward scooped me back up into his arms, and he walked me into the room that Carlisle was leading us into.

He checked my reflexes, pulse, and lots of other things that didn't really concern me. What I did notice was when my shirt was pulled up, exposing my injured torso. There were countless bruises up and down my ribcage. I recalled Edward in the forest saying something about some "preexisting injuries." Was this what he was talking about?

"Oh, Bella…" Edward said in shock.

 _So this isn't what he was talking about? Wait… what do I look like?_

"Edward… Could I see myself?" I asked, with a sudden sense of urgency. I had to know what we were dealing with here.

He looked at me for a moment, and then sighed. He pulled out his phone and handed it to me, with the front facing camera open. I carefully looked at myself, and recoiled inwardly in disgust. Cuts laced my skin, and my face looked hollow. I ran the camera down to my collarbone, where dark purple bruises in very similar shapes were painting a picture of pain. I felt tears fill my eyes at this vile creature staring back at me. Carlisle took this as his cue to quickly finish the rest of the exam so I could go rest. I didn't know where this rest was supposed to happen, but they didn't seem to be worried about it.

Pale hands continued to fly swiftly around me, and the efficiency was comfortable enough that I allowed my mind to drift off. I could hardly imagine such a lost feeling as not having a memory. I could be missing any number of things right now. What if I had a kid, or a husband? What if I had a boss, or employees? These people would all be waiting on me, depending on me, and I was simply being held in the care of strangers. I tried to think back to what Edward had said regarding my "accident." Motorcycle. Motor. Car. Passenger. Friend. Relationships. History.

I tried with all my might, but the word association game wasn't ringing any bells. I felt my lonely soul flood with disappointment and helplessness, and then my head was flood with an image that brought me a strange comfort- the man in my dreams. Where did he come from, and what was his connection to these people? He never seemed to be active in my subconscious, but he was always there. I could distinctly remember feeling him watch over me, like a guardian angel. _Back with the angels again…_ I briefly considered my theory. Though unlikely, supernatural forces seemed to be a good excuse for whatever my life was turning to at this point. _If only things were that simple…_

"Bella, would you like to go to your room now to rest?" Edward offered his hand gentlemanly.

 _My_ room? Did I already know these people or something? Sensing my confusion, Edward shook his head gracefully. "Forgive my lack of explanation. We have a guest room that Alice has already prepared for your stay, as long as it takes for you to return to full health." His gracious smile only added to the awe consuming my emotions. These people were welcoming me into their home, their family, without even knowing me. _I'm not giving up on my angel theory yet._ This was a pretty generalizing statement for someone with no memory, but I didn't think humans could ever be that kindhearted.

"Oh... Um. That's," I paused to clear my throat, "very kind of you. But I wouldn't want to impose, at least not without the consent of the rest of the family."

Carlisle chose this as his moment to intervene. "Well Bella, I appreciate your concern for the family. I can assure you they will all be more than delighted to have you as our guest, but I can understand your desire to meet them first. Why don't we call a little family meeting?" He looked pointedly at his son. "Edward, take Bella to the guest room so she can rest. When she has had an adequate amount of sleep, we will introduce her to the others." He smiled, shook my hand, and excused himself from the room.

I looked shyly at Edward, who extended a hand and offered a menacingly beautiful smile. "After you, miss."

I followed my new friend down a few beautifully decorated hallways, and he stopped at a closed door. "Your destination, Ms. Swan." I smiled, and turned the knob to reveal a bedroom that almost as beautiful as the people who had filled my life that day. There was a beautiful silver chandelier, with light grey walls, and red and black accents. It wasn't until I saw the king sized bed that I realized how exhausted I was. I let a small yawn escape my lips, and Edward chuckled. "Bedtime!"

I sent him an apologetic grin, and he gestured to the room as if demanding me to walk in. I did, and he remained in the doorway. "I hope you find the room to your liking. I'm sure Alice would be more than willing to adjust it to fit any of your needs. Well, sleep tight. I'll see you in a few hours, Bella." He turned to leave, and I stopped him with my quiet, unconfident voice.

"Edward?"

He turned immediately, ready to assist me however needed. "Yes Bella?" 

"Th- thank you for all of this. But if your family doesn't feel comfortable with me here, I don't expect your hospitality to continue. No hard feelings. You've already helped me greatly."

He sighed, and looked me straight in the eyes. "We're all different, and we all have our own opinions. I'm not saying everyone will react to you the same way, but I can guarantee you a spot in this room as long as you need it." He winked at me. "Goodnight."

I mumbled a quick, "Goodnight," after he exited. I wrapped myself in the covers of this temporary haven of mine, and had almost fallen asleep when I heard a noise coming from the adjoining bathroom of my room. I shot up in frantic fear, afraid to face the intruder.

The light turned off, and the door creaked open. _What have I gotten myself into?_ I was braced for the worst, when the petite shadow of a woman stepped quietly from the room. I didn't know if I was supposed to scream or stare, but my dry throat forced me to opt for the latter.

The woman stepped into the light peering in from the French windows, and smiled sweetly. She was notably the same shade of impossible white as Edward and Carlisle, and just as beautiful. Caramel hair framed her perfect face, and her Snow White vibe led me to believe this was Esme.

"Oh, I'm so sorry dear! Have I woken you? I was just putting some things in the bathroom for you to use later, and I figured you'd be asleep when I came out. I'm Esme."

I instantly melted, taken completely by the warmth this woman offered. I couldn't remember my age, or whether or not I had a maternal figure in my life. But the feelings of loneliness and confusion I was harboring made it so much more comforting to have met Esme.

"Hi Esme. I'm Bella." I said gently, all former fear of her completely forgotten. "Thank you for the shelter and help. Your family has already been such a blessing."

"Oh, of course dear. It is our pleasure. Now you get some sleep, and I will have some food for you when you wake up." She grew into a caring smile, and exited the room.

As I felt sleep overtake me, I tried once again to make sense of the day's events. Sense wouldn't come, but the promise of a family downstairs made me feel safe anyways. My mysterious dream guardian appeared, and began to lead me towards sleep. I let him. It was going to be okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so glad you guys seem to like the story! I'm officially done with school, so I'll be able to update pretty frequently until the Fall. Enjoy the chapter… some pretty important vampires come into play here!**

CHAPTER THREE

When he looked at me, I relaxed into the deep abyss of emotion flooding my soul in a comfortable way. I was pulled into the brooding mystery that held my heart captive. When he glared at me, I was filled with an unquenchable desire to please him, to take away whatever caused him pain. Submitting to him became something of a passion, wrecking my spirit and filling it all at the same time. But when he smiled at me… that was the treat so unfathomably beautiful that it was almost too much to take. His brilliance outshined anything I had ever known, and all the glory in the world was captured in his face. Yes, he smiled at me and the world wasn't such a scary place anymore. I was held unwaveringly by his smile, and reached out my hand to accept the one he offered. I was ready to let him lead me wherever he wanted to.

I was pulled out of my dream date with my curly haired angel by a loud rap to the door.

"Bella? Are you awake? We have some food for you downstairs if you'd like to meet the rest of the family." Reality came crashing back to me when I heard the offer. I was in a stranger's home, with no memory and seemingly nowhere else to go. I grimly smirked at the tone in Edward's voice. It sounded more like he was bribing me to go meet his family, but my stomach's protests quickly reminded me that I didn't care. I was hungry.

I rubbed my eyes groggily, and answered him through the door. "Yeah, I'll be out in a second. Thank you."

"Of course. Alice laid out an outfit you can change into if you'd like. No rush." I looked down to the end of my massive bed, and sure enough saw an entire outfit pieced together for my wearing pleasure. It looked decent enough from here: black jeans, a loose white top, and a red belt. Comfortable, yet fashionable… Especially compared to the ratty outfit I had been sporting all day. I quickly changed into the clothes, and was grateful for the clean smell and fresh feel. With a glance in the mirror, I decided that it wasn't going to get any better after a few brushes of my hair.

I walked out of the room to find Edward patiently waiting for me on the other side. He greeted me with a smile, and asked me if I had slept well. "Is the room to your liking? Was the bed comfortable?"

"I wouldn't change a thing, thank you." I replied politely, with a well-rested grin forming on my face. He led me down to the kitchen, where I presumed the rest of the family was waiting. I couldn't help but wonder if the rest of the Cullens would be so inhumanly beautiful as Edward and Carlisle. If so, I'd stick out like a sore thumb. I immediately felt self-conscious. I was a plain girl, and my injuries left me feeling extra unappealing. As we reached the room, I tried to remind myself not to resent them if they were prettier than me. _These people are housing you, Bella. Be nice. Suck it up._ I took a deep breath and stepped into the room.

And of course, there waiting for me were five striking people. I had to stifle a gasp, but their amused expressions almost made it seem that they had heard it anyways. All were the same shade of iridescent white, and all were the same kind of gorgeous while having their own distinct facial features. I could immediately tell who was who, based off of the descriptions Edward had provided earlier. My attention first went to the petite, Tinkerbell-like young woman that my new friend smiled a dazzling smile for. He quickly walked to her side, and put his arm around her lovingly while she flashed him a charming wink. It was obvious he adored her. "Bella, this is my girlfriend, Alice." Alice smiled at me, with all the glee on earth, and ran from Edward to give me the hug of a best friend.

"Bella! It's so good to meet you. Edward and I were so worried when we found you, and I'm just so glad to see that you're okay. Something told me you would be. And, _oh my gosh!_ You look so good in that outfit! As soon as you're up to it, we'll have a girls night and get to know each other better!" I was so taken aback by her sheer friendliness that I had to rerun her words in my head in order to form a proper response.

I tried to give her my most convincing grin. She seemed wonderful, and it would be nice to have a girlfriend while I was here. I didn't know at all how long that would be, but it couldn't hurt. Besides, Edward had already been such a good friend to me. And she was clearly important to him. "That would be… nice. Thank you. It's good to meet you too. And thank you for the outfit."

Edward smiled at our conversation, and then reached forward to pull Alice into his arms. "Okay sweetheart, let's not completely overwhelm her right away." He smiled teasingly and kissed her cheek while she grumbled. He smirked, and then gestured to the large, burly man intimidatingly positioned next to a phenomenally formed blonde woman. "Bella, this is…" He was cut off, however, by the boisterous voice of the grizzly bear himself.

"I'm Emmett, Bella! Pleased to meet you. I'll be here for all of your entertainment needs, including but not limited to practical jokes, songs, and embarrassing games of 'Truth or Dare'." He smiled wickedly, and bent forward to kiss my hand. I tried not to giggle as all intimidation I had felt by his appearance completely drifted away. He might still be a bear, but more of a teddy than a grizzly. I definitely got a big-brother vibe from him, and I wasn't complaining. I would take all the family I could get right now, because I couldn't remember if I had my own.

"It's very nice to meet you Emmett. I'm afraid I don't remember how to play 'Truth or Dare', but maybe you could teach me." I smiled, and he looked thrilled.

"It's a deal! Now, this," he paused and made exaggerated motions to the blonde next to him, "is my Rosie."

While she wasn't as exuberant as Alice or Emmett had been, she was polite enough. "Hello Bella. Nice to meet you." She gave me a half smile, and something about her cool demeanor made me take it as a victory.

I responded with a shy expression, and a gentle reply. "Hi Rosalie. It's nice to meet you. Edward has told me a lot about you, and I hope we can be friends." She answered my comment with a diplomatic nod and smile, and I supposed that was the best I was going to get from her. I moved on, hoping Rosalie's indifference wouldn't affect the entire family's opinion of me. I was pleased to see Carlisle and Esme standing there, arms around each other and proudly watching the scene before them unfold.

"It's good to see you again Bella. I hope you had a good nap." Esme graciously offered.

I smiled warmly, and then Carlisle also threw in a comment for my benefit. "We do have another member of the family, Jasper. He is out running an errand at the moment, but he will be home shortly. You can meet him then." _Ahh… Jasper. The one Edward said was "interesting."_

"I'll look forward to it. Thank you."

"Now Bella, we were going to wait until the entire family was here to talk to you about this, but I don't want to make you wait for Jasper. We have talked to him about it, and he is not opposed. I know you were very kindly concerned about the rest of the family's approval on your presence before accepting our offer. But we have discussed it, and it is quite alright with us." The patriarch of the family smiled at me warmly, and I felt completely wrapped in love in that moment. Tears had just about sprung to my eyes in gratitude when my stomach betrayed me with a loud growl.

"Oh, you poor thing! Your meal is on the table. I hope you like soup… I wanted to fix you something you could eat easily." Concerned with being the perfect hostess, Esme looked genuinely worried about my food preferences.

"Soup is just fine. Perfect, really. I'm sure it will taste wonderful… Thank you." I looked around in confusion. "Will any of you be eating with me?"

Edward smoothly intervened as I made my way to the lone bowl of soup on their flawless kitchen table. "We have unfortunately all already eaten, but Alice and I would be glad to keep you company while you eat."

"Yes Bella, I'm afraid I have some housework to tend to, but just let me know if you need anything. I will take care of it. Enjoy your meal!" Esme wished as she left the room with Carlisle.

"Bye baby sis!" Emmett unnecessarily yelled as Rosalie quickly ushered him up the stairs.

I was left with Alice and Edward, but I didn't mind. They seemed to be genuinely interested in being my friends, and I was grateful for it. While I ate the mouthwatering soup prepared by Esme, I learned all about their school and their home. Every word they said fascinated me, and I was glad for the distraction from my current mental issues. We laughed as we got to know each other, and I found myself forgetting about my physical pain.

After I finished my meal, Edward asked if I remembered the way to my room, which I did. They offered to stay up and watch a movie with me, but I didn't want to take any more of their time so I rejected politely. They bid me goodnight and made their way upstairs.

I was planning to do the same, as soon as I had washed my dishes and put them in the sink. Esme had already done so much for me, and I wanted to be able to help a little bit. I was standing over the sink, wiping my hands off with a nearby towel when I heard the front door open behind me. Before I even got the chance to turn around and evaluate the newcomer, a soft and honey-like voice with a slight southern drawl rang out like bells.

"Hello, you must be Isabella. I'm Jasper."

I spun around to face the final member of the family, and I couldn't even attempt to cover my gasp when I saw the man standing in the doorway. There, in all his glory waiting for a response, was the star of my subconscious… The man from my dreams.

 **Reviews give me life. Keep me alive and I'll keep writing chapters for you guys.** **Hope you liked the chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi everyone! This one might be a bit confusing, but it is basically Bella and Jasper trying to reconcile their familiarity. Enjoy!**

CHAPTER FOUR

 _My angel was holding me, holding me tightly as if he meant to protect me from all the evils this world presented. We were alone somewhere, in a dark room that seemed to swallow us in its emptiness. I kept looking up to see his face, to make sense of whatever danger I was in. His cold demeanor contrasted his secure embrace in ways that both terrified and thrilled me. There was no indication at all that he would reveal anything to me, but I felt completely understood in that moment. I was pulled from my mysterious musings by the sound of my angel's deep southern voice._

 _"_ _Isabella, come to me."_

 _I looked into his face, and was struck with confusion. The call continued, but his lips made no movement to speak. His gaze softened, and he just looked at me tenderly while the voice grew louder and louder. I could feel myself being pulled away, into the dark oblivion, out of his reach. I struggled under the weight of the supernatural influence. I needed my angel; I didn't want to navigate this darkness alone._

 _"_ _Isabella, come to me."_

 _At the sound of his repeated call, I finally let myself be pulled into whatever force was grasping. I trusted his voice. As I drifted closer and closer to a light, I never lost the feeling of my angel holding onto me…_

My eyes fluttered open, and I took in a quick breath. I was at the Cullen's home, in my bed, and my angel sat perched on the bed beside me. "Isabella, come to me. Wake up."

I could hear the worry in his tone, and could almost feel his relief as he realized I was awake. I sat up gently, and tried to remember how I had gotten here- how he had gotten here. _I was in the kitchen, and then I heard this voice and turned around and then…_ That was when it got fuzzy.

"Isabella?"

I lifted my eyes to look into those of my mystery come to life. I searched them for any sign of deceit or malice, and couldn't find any. For once, this cold stranger seemed to be caring and warm… All the while maintaining an unspoken strength. "Who are you?"

"My name is Jasper Whitlock, and the last of the Cullens to meet you. I walked into the kitchen tonight to make your acquaintance, and you passed out. I carried you up to your room- I hope you don't mind. I imagined it to be more comfortable than the kitchen floor. Carlisle has come up to ensure your safety considering your preexisting injuries, and he doesn't think you hit your head or anything. You should be fine, just maybe a tad dizzy." He paused, and I looked at him incredulously. He was explaining the situation very reasonably, which I appreciated. But was I to have no explanation for the fact that I knew him and nothing else?

He looked at me expectantly. "Is everything okay?"

I shook my head in confusion. I tried to think of how to explain my inner turmoil, but couldn't find the words. Here before me was the only thing I had known since I lost my memory, and he appeared not to know me. I examined his face closely, taking in every line and curve. _I know those marks._ I knew it was him. It had to be.

He took my silence as an answer, and began talking again. "Carlisle informed me of your memory loss- and I'm truly sorry this has happened to you. I can't imagine not knowing anything or anyone, and being thrust into an entire new social setting, forced to trust these strangers." My mind warped as he spoke. He spoke as if he knew me, knew my insides. Which he did, because he had always been inside my head… But he was mistaken. I did know someone. I knew him, I just didn't _know_ him.

He looked down into my eyes once more. "But please allow me to tell you that you are being cared for by the most loving people in the world. You have a place here as long as you want one. And I will do everything I can to help you."

I supposed it was my time to speak, but I had been so wrapped up in his mystery that I had yet to figure out the words to say. I was still trying so desperately to make sense of everything, and his presence brought me closer to some form of truth. But his oblivion took me farther away from any sense of peace I had yet to find. "You said your name is Jasper?" I asked, my heart beating quickly.

He looked at me in concern, and hesitantly took my hand in his to rub soothing circles on its inside. "You're anxious, but you aren't afraid. Why is that?"

His question caught me off guard in the sense that he seemed to be so attuned to my emotions. However, if I was right in my assessment of who he was, it made perfect sense for him to know me in such a raw way. I moved past my shock and tried to answer him honestly. "I don't know who I am or how I got hurt, who my family is or who I love, but I know you. Why is that?"

His thin sheet of composure banished from his face. He was vulnerable, unshielded by the façade he always wore in my dreams. "I don't know Isabella. I wish I had more answers for you."

I could feel his breath in my face, coloring my mind with mystery and comfort. "Do you know me, then?" I asked, my voice barely above a broken whisper.

He didn't blink or hesitate in his answer. "You are familiar to me, and I feel as if you know every bone in my body… Introducing myself felt silly, because you feel like…" He trailed off, and I didn't push him. It was enough that he was just as confused as me, and I wasn't alone in this intrigue.

"You have visited me every night for all of my life. I have known you in my dreams." He looked surprised about this new information, and looked at me with curiosity that prolonged the depth of confusion I felt even more. Nevertheless, I gathered strength from the comfort of this stranger's presence. I extended a shaky and bruised hand to stroke the sides of his face, and he hung his head. "I never knew that you would find me someday."

The feeling of his ice-cold skin against my fragile finger caused my breathing to quicken, and the gravity of the situation began to take its toll on my exhausted mind. I collapsed back onto my pillow. As if he felt my weakness, Jasper leaned down next to me and stroked my hair, somehow willing peace into me.

"I don't know what any of this means, but we will figure it out. Go to sleep now, Isabella."

Lethargy washed over me and the familiar darkness seeped into my vision. Before I took its hand, I whispered a reply. "You can call me Bella."

 **The next chapter will go up soon, but please please please please please please please review. In order to provide an incentive, every review for this chapter will be entered into a contest. I will choose one at random, and the winning account will get to choose the name of a character coming up in the next few chapters! I will be trying to do this frequently. Sometimes it might be a character, sometimes maybe a plot contribution, and sometimes a preview of the next chapter. So anyways... Review review review! Love y'all!**


	5. Chapter 5

**You guys make the world go round with your reviews. Seriously. I love hearing from you and your support and interest in the story have made it such an exciting process for me. God bless you all!**

CHAPTER FIVE

I woke up groggily, pleased to see my angel still existed. _It wasn't a dream…_ He was still next to me in the bed, on top of the covers, staring at the ceiling but with a hand still in my hair.

He was murmuring quietly to himself, but snapped to my attention as soon as he saw my stirring form. I immediately wished I hadn't called attention to myself, so I would have more time to observe the icy work of art in my room. I knew it didn't make sense, but I honestly was starting to believe these Cullens were angels, and not human. "Good morning." He smiled at me hesitantly, as if he was unsure of my feelings after such emotional intensity the night before.

"Good morning." I offered back, suddenly overcome with shyness. "Umm… Where is everyone?"

He smiled reassuringly, and took a deep breath before answering. "All of my siblings went to school- I volunteered to stay home and care for you. Carlisle is at work, and Esme is here but about to leave for a shopping venture."

I looked to the clock to see that it was 10:00 in the morning. I didn't know what I was expected to do all day, but I was glad I had Jasper here to navigate it with me.

"I've already eaten breakfast, but we can go downstairs if you're feeling up to it and get some food in you. I think we have some things to discuss, and I would feel better doing that if you had more energy. I'm sure Esme would also like to see you."

I wanted to protest, but I was grateful to be taken care of. I allowed him to lead me from my bed and into the long hallway before my knees started give way to the floor beneath me. My angel, sensing this, caught me before the ground did. "How foolish of me to let you walk after you passed out last night and haven't eaten since. Let me rectify the situation." I looked at him meekly, wondering how he was going to fix my drowsiness. My thoughts were interrupted when I felt myself being swept off my feet and carried gracefully down the stairs. I looked to his face to get a sense of what he was thinking, but the mask was back on. He had reverted to the stern angel I had grown comfortable with, but had witnessed another side of last night.

He released me once we reached the kitchen, sitting me down carefully in a chair at the table. Yet, as soon as our skin was no longer touching, I felt an ache for the comfort of the cold hand I had so quickly grown accustomed to. It was possible he felt the same way, because he immediately drew a chair right next to me and inserted himself in it once he had put a plate in front of me. It felt better to at least have our arms touching. _You silly fool. Yearning for the touch of a man you don't know, a man who has only phantomed your dreams. Simply because he paid some attention last night._ My inner monologue gave me second thoughts, and I decided to slyly shift the chair a bit to the left so we weren't so clearly touching. As soon as I made the slightest movement, two hands were placed at my chin. He lifted my head to meet his eyes, and I could see a war waging in them.

On one level, they looked to be full of longing and desire. Then on another level, confusion painted the depths of his beautiful honey colored irises. The last, and most saddening level, held a disturbing effort to conceal all of these emotions and not crack under the façade he had built for himself.

Our intimate moment was interrupted in an acceptable way when Esme walked in the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt! Jasper, would you mind running to the grocery store to pick up a few things?" She asked sweetly.

I felt myself begin to panic at the thought of Jasper leaving me, and Esme dimmed my fear at least a little by assuring me she would stay until he returned. I had nothing against that, because I already adored her. It was just that I was just becoming acquainted with this angel, this stranger who was somehow also my closest friend. I didn't want to risk messing it up.

One look at his face told me he didn't love the idea himself, but after a long exchange of looks between himself and his mother, it seemed he couldn't deny her either. He turned back to me, promised that he would be back soon, and was out the door. I couldn't deny the tug that my heart felt as the only piece of familiarity I had at the moment waltzed out of the door.

"So Bella, how are you feeling this morning?" Snow White in the flesh asked me.

"I'm okay I suppose- still in pain but it could be worse. I'm sure Jasper informed you all of my passing out last night."

"Yes dear, he did. We were all very worried. However, he seems to be taking good care of you. I've never seen him act this way." She mentioned as she pranced around the kitchen, moving things around.

I looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean?"

My pseudo mom stopped and turned to me while smiling gingerly. "Jasper seems to be open with you. It's nice for me to see. He's never been rude to our family, but he hasn't lived an easy life. He keeps to himself often, because I think he has trouble reconciling his past with his present. I'm glad he has a friend in you." She gave me a sweet expression, and then moved the conversation topic to the pattern of my bedding in my room.

We talked and laughed, and I was surprised with how comfortable I was with Esme. I felt like I was her friend, and not a stranger she had taken into her home. She was that welcoming and warm. It was not long before Jasper returned to us, holding two bags of groceries. He set them on the counter, then promptly returned to his seat next to me at the table.

Esme took this as her cue to leave, and winked at me knowingly before she left for her shopping excursion. This caused me to blush, and Jasper noticed but thankfully didn't say anything of it. I wondered about his life, and why it was apparently so refreshing to see him willingly be around me. _Is it possible that he's hurting as badly as I am?_

I was pulled out of my inner musings by Jasper's intense stare and declaration. "Bella, we need to talk." He uttered quietly, but with determination I couldn't dream of crossing.

I simply nodded.

"I don't know what's going on, and that's not something I'm used to. I swear I'm going to figure this out for us, but there's something I want to warn you about. Our family discussed putting out a missing persons report. Not that we wanted you gone, of course, but we wanted you to be surrounded with people you are familiar with. It might have helped in the healing process for you. We were only hesitant because of your preexisting injuries… We didn't want to return you to a dangerous situation." He paused and looked into my eyes. "Don't be afraid. We won't let anyone hurt you." I swallowed, and he continued. "In light of recent revelations, I have suggested that we do a scan of any news from the area that might lead to your abandonment. Carlisle and I worked on it a bit this morning, and I think we found something. I think it would be best if we waited until his return to tell you so that you have a better support system, because it will not be easy to hear. But I want you to know that I'm here and I will answer any questions you may have."

I stared at him, unsure of what to say or think. I could begin to perhaps understand that he would think it best for my doctor to be present while I receive traumatic news, but had he forgotten about the trust I placed in him last night? _What was the news they had to tell me? Was someone I loved hurt? Would I be a terrible person if I couldn't even remember them?_ I could tell by the look on his face that he was awaiting my reaction, and I needed to give him one. So I simply shook my head.

He furrowed his brows at me. "No?"

I shook my head again and gave him a weakly voiced reply. "I want you to be the one to tell me. Please. You're the closest thing I have to home right now."

He sighed gently, and pulled her head to his chest to stroke her hair lovingly. "Bella, I just want to make sure you're ready to hear this. I don't want to hurt you worse than you're already dealing with." His comment reminded me of the sharp pain in my sides, and faltering appearance. As if on cue, "Can you blame me for wanting you to heal quickly so I can show off what a beautiful girl is living in my house?" He winked, melting away all my insecurities for the moment.

I felt myself blush furiously. Jasper and I already had a complex relationship, but there was no indication that he would be interested in bringing in romance. For all I knew, I had a boyfriend out there looking for me. Besides, how could someone with such devastating beauty ever look at a scratched up human with desire? I took a moment to truly look at him. Not just him, but the strong jawline that promoted strength and dignity. The rugged shoulders that gave off energies of protection and masculinity. The scars covering his hands that almost painted pictures of suffering, and through that perseverance. _No, there was no way…_

"Bella, are you sure you want to hear this?" He asked, in a careful tone that almost held a hint of amusement.

"You won't leave me?" I had no way of knowing how I would emotionally react to whatever news he had to relay. It obviously wasn't good, and she needed the protection of her angel there with her.

He flashed a brilliant smile at me, and took my hand. "Never."

With that, he led me into the living room. On the expensive looking coffee table, a matching expensive looking laptop was ready to be used, ready to potentially shatter me. As we walked closer to the device, my nerves skyrocketed. This could very likely be horrible, and I had no idea what I was about to walk into. Tears welled up in my eyes. _How long am I expected to live like this, in this state of dreadful confusion?_ Jasper turned around immediately, swept away the tear that had escaped down my cheek, and squeezed my hand in support while pouring his sympathy deeply into my eyes.

I looked into the eyes of my angel, finding comfort in knowing that those angel eyes had always been there to keep me safe. Whatever he was about to show me on this laptop, whatever storm loomed ahead, my angel would protect me.

"Okay. I'm ready." I declared, trying to muster all the confidence I could.

We sat down on the couch, and he opened his laptop to reveal a picture of two men. They were both dressed in police uniforms, and stood side by side next to a cop cruiser. "Bella, do either of these men look familiar to you?"

I heard Jasper ask the question, but I couldn't bring myself to answer him. All I could pay any attention to were the two sets of eyes staring back at me. I _knew_ those eyes. They struck me. Before I could rejoice in feeling close to a memory, I was overwhelmed with sharp physical pain and crippling fear. I didn't yet know who those men were, but I was sure they had hurt me at some point. That was the only explanation for my body's response.

My angel, protecting me as always, took me in his arms and rocked away the pain until I felt a semblance of peace and acceptance. He murmured quiet assurances that I would be safe where I was, and I honestly believed him.

Once I was out of my mini panic attack, Jasper carefully redirected my attention back to the screen. He was careful to rub soothing circles on my back so I would continue to feel safe and not freak out again. He pointed to the man on the left first. "Bella, we believe this man is your father." He paused and looked down at me before pointing to the other one. "And this man is dead."

 **Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. My "name a character" contest will be announced shortly, as the character will be named in my next chapter. Until then, review review review! I also want to assure you guys that I AM planning on having Jasper's point of view in this story. I don't know how far away it is, but it will be crucial to the storyline. Love you all!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much for your reviews. I'd like to congratulate the winner of the "name a character" contest, Casedeputy! The character is named Colin Black, and he will be a prominent figure in the story starting with this chapter. :) Read at the bottom for the next contest. Enjoy!**

CHAPTER SIX

I stared incredulously at my angel, and he stared worriedly back at me. "My father?" I asked in disbelief, while turning my gaze back to my supposed patriarch. _Those eyes…_ Even just peering at them via picture was conjuring up insecurities and pain. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and turn back to Jasper.

"Yes Bella. We searched the news for stories of accidents or disappearances in the area. We came across this story. The man on the right was found dead about half a mile behind where Edward found you- motorcycle accident." I gulped at this new information. It was clear to me that I had been involved in this man's death. Jasper took my hand and continued. "Because of this, people have been looking to the chief of police to console the town. The officer was very well beloved. The chief of police, Charlie Swan, is the man on the left. We looked into his home life a little, and he has one daughter- Isabella Swan. She's been "home sick" from school the past few days."

"How do you-"

"It's a small town Bella, people talk." He winked and flashed me a smile that I guessed was supposed to lighten the mood. I swallowed heavily, and returned my gaze to my presumed father.

"So, you mean my dad is still alive? What about my mom?" I asked, quickly realizing how close I was to any information about my life at all. "Are you going to send me back?" I asked, grasped in fear. Not only was I afraid of the man in the picture, I was also in fear of losing Jasper before I really got any answers on who he was.

He looked at me steadily. "Yes, he's still alive. Your parents are not together…"

I absorbed the information, trying to be brave. "Okay…"

"That's not all Bella." He murmured. I looked at him expectantly. "Your mother died when you were very young."

My head snapped to face his. "What?" I asked, choking on my words.

His expression softened and I was filled with overwhelming support and encouragement. It was like an emotional blanket that found its way from Jasper to me, and wrapped itself around every hurting part of my body. I couldn't figure out how he did that, always making me feel secure in the midst of such a confusing time in my life. I appreciated it nevertheless, for hearing that my mother was dead caused sadness unimaginable. It did not matter that I didn't remember her, because I knew now that even when I regained my memory I would not have a mother to go back to.

"She fell down a flight of stairs when you were three years old and hit her head. That's all I've been able to find online…" He trailed off, and took me into his strong arms. "I'm so sorry Bella." And he was. I could feel his sorrow for me rolling off of him in waves, and I was wrapped up in the cocoon of feelings he gave me. I looked into his eyes with tears in my own, and reveled in the feeling of hopeless safety. _What an awful person… You just found out your mother is dead and you're splitting the attention with Jasper. Some daughter you are._

I tried not to listen to my inner demon as I let my guardian angel comfort me. I stayed there in his arms for a while, knowing he had more to tell me but knowing it could wait. All I needed was to know he was there, protecting me. His personality thus far was fascinating. My entire life, I had known him as a sturdy type. Almost as if he were in the military, firm but I always knew he was looking out for me. I never saw him as a sensitive soul, but the tangible man holding me was not hiding from any feelings. This contrast was very confusing, especially in light of the things Esme mentioned briefly in passing earlier in the morning. What past was he trying to recover from? Would I help him or deter him?

"To answer your last question, we will never send you away Bella."

I didn't meet his eyes as I responded without hesitation. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't feel like you have to keep me here as a patient. I don't want to be an inconvenience or burden your home."

"Bella-"

I cut him off. "Tell me more about the dead officer. What do we know about him?"

He looked at me with furrowed brows and sighed. "His name was Colin Black. I believe he worked very closely with your father for many years- probably most of your lifetime. I know you can't remember, and I don't mean to pressure you in any way. But if any of this information begins to ring any bells at all, it could help us figure out what happened in the woods that day. And maybe if we get closer to the truth, we can possibly figure out our familiarity."

"So I definitely had a hand in his death then?"

"Nothing is certain right now. Let's not worry about it right now darlin', because that would be all for nothing. Maybe we can dig into your thoughts instead? Can you tell me what comes to mind when you look at this picture of the two men?"

I closed my eyes, trying to conjure up a proper response to his request. Picturing the men, I tried to focus on something other than the pain they provoked. Their eyes became the sole focus yet again in my mind, and my reaction was not one I expected- terror. Sheer, utter terror. I let out a blood-curling scream, overcome by the anxiety and fear that gripped my soul inch by inch. I felt the urge to run, to hide, to weep in a corner alone somewhere. The sensation was only dulled when my angel firmly put his hands around my waist and I was filled with drowsiness. _Okay, really, how is he doing that?_ I looked up at his face to question him, but I was struck by the shift in the man holding me.

He no longer looked like the sensitive man I had begun to know, but had instead been taken over by my protective soldier. I felt safe. As he lifted me off of the couch and carried me upstairs, I sensed the familiar pull he had on me to call me to sleep. It was very confusing, being carried by an angel and sensing him in another consciousness. I didn't mind though, because I knew he would be there as long as I needed him to be.

 _"_ _Isabella, do not feel any fear. I am with you and I will protect you from their evil. I have never failed you."_

 _"_ _Of course you haven't, and I'm sorry if my fear projected any doubt. But who are they and what is their evil? Please help me. I can't remember anything." I dropped my head and admitted my weakness._

 _"_ _That isn't my place to remind you, but trust that you will be protected. And you will soon remember," my angel assured me._

 _We were silent for a few moments. We were alone again, in a dark room with distant noise coming from the other side of the door. He stood guard, facing the door with preparation to protect me if necessary._

 _I knew I wanted to ask him about my recent meeting with him in coherency, but I didn't know how to do it. "Jasper?"_

 _He turned his head slowly, facing me with an unbelieving look. "How do you know my given name? I don't believe I've ever told you."_

 _I was a tad fearful, because I didn't want to cross any lines or offend my angel. "What would you prefer me to call you?"_

 _"_ _You may call me Major Whitlock. Jasper is acceptable in casual conversation… But I also enjoy your name for me." He smirked._

 _My mind raced. What nickname did I have for him? Certainly none that I had shared._

 _"_ _Need I remind you? I'm your angel."_

 _I felt my face dye itself red in a fierce blush. "How did you-"_

 _"_ _It's me. I know everything about you, Isabella." He paused. "Don't worry. I don't mind being your guardian angel."_

 _I had about half of a second to smile shyly at him before the door burst open, allowing two figures to stumble into the room. I tried to peer around my angel and get a glimpse of their faces. However, my move was cut short by a loud and strong growl from him accompanied by an advance towards the forms._

 _One figure spoke in a voice as deep as the pits of hell, and pointed to me. "Just give us the girl, Major."_

 _No sooner did the words leave his mouth than my angel leapt towards the speaker and his friend. I saw nothing but a blur of movement for a short while, swept up in fear for my guardian's safety. Suddenly, I saw a whirl of two faces being spun up against the wall. My heart sank, as I recognized whom they belonged to. My father, and officer Colin Black were my attempted captors. They both seemed to find me as I found them, and looked me straight in the eyes before I watched in alarm as Jasper sunk his teeth into the neck of Charlie. My father was soon followed by Colin, and I watched as the life slowly drained out of their eyes. It was a mind-boggling sight. Did he really just do that? It was almost as if he was another creature than an angel._

 _Was it wrong if it excited me?_

 _He rose up from his post on the ground, shut the door back of the room, and slowly stalked towards me. He was watching my face, carefully judging my every move. But none of those things were what caught my attention. While his brilliantly white skin was dripping blood, his eyes were shining a shade of red that rivaled any crimson I had ever seen. I couldn't look away. As he reached me, he simply pulled me close to him. He leaned down to close proximity with my face, and bent his head to mine with closed eyes. I could feel that a kiss was coming, and I wasn't prepared for it, but I certainly wouldn't deny this angel who saved my life anything. He was just about to touch his lips to mine, and then he released me back to consciousness with a simple, "Goodbye, Isabella."_

 _As I drifted back to coherency, I saw a rapture of time and history. Pictures of my life floated through the air, and it snapped into place. Everything came back to me._

"Bella? Are you awake darlin'?" I heard the frantic call of Jasper before I even opened my eyes.

"Jasper…"

"I'm right here. Did you see me again in your dreams?"

I opened my eyes and shot up. "Yes… I saw everything. I remember now. Jasper, what _are_ you?"

 **Review review review! My next incentive is that in your reviews, you may ask me any question at all you want to about the plot of the story. I will choose five people at random to answer in complete honesty, including spoilers if needed. :) Your thoughts and opinions mean the world, so give me all you got. Much love,**

 **-loverunknown**


	7. Chapter 7

**I love you all! This is a big chapter, and I'm so excited to get some of these balls rolling. I'd like to congratulate the five winners of my last review contest. Dawn369, Cathy29jes, Casedeputy, Freekygrl69, and AHealingRenaissance. Your reviews have meant the world and I treasure each of them. You guys have started guessing at some of the plot, and I can't wait to see your guesses after you read this. :) Enjoy.**

CHAPTER SEVEN

The atmosphere around us seemed to adjust to our chaos. In the shelter of my darkened bedroom, I heard the thunder outside us clap at startling volumes. If I hadn't felt so on edge and alive in that moment, I probably would have jumped.

It had only been a nap I had taken, but it changed everything.

I suddenly remembered who I was, where I came from and every other piece of the puzzle. I couldn't figure out how the pieces all fell together, but I was determined to see it through. However, in this moment, I couldn't focus on anything else but the mystery with its arms wrapped around me.

He stared at me with a strange mixture of sadness and shock in his eyes, his eyes that gave away so much yet told me so little. I knew him, but he was foreign. I needed him, but I didn't know why. I touched him, but he was the one carrying me- and I wanted answers. I had just witnessed him, or a version of him, kill my father and Colin Black. He had moved impossibly fast to my defense and sunk his teeth into their skin before letting their lifeless bodies slither to the ground. Then he had… _No, you can't go there right now. It was only a dream…_ I shuddered at the memory of the two men.

Running my hands down my body, I was reminded of the emptiness my father had created within me. The past few days with the Cullens was the most alive I had ever felt after a lifetime of vicious physical and emotional attacks from my father and his protégé, Colin. I shook my head, ridding myself of such thoughts for the time being. I was more concerned with Jasper's answer. Regaining my composure, I asked my question again. "What are you?" My voice was steadier this time.

For a while it was just us two, the world swirling around us in its booming thunder and pouring rain. The lights flickered on and off a few times, and the house lost its power. But we were still. We had all the electricity we needed between the two of us, and it ran from his eyes boring into mine. I willed him to answer me, my stare communicating that I wasn't going to give in. The high intensity of emotions was keeping me alive in that moment, not my heartbeat.

He finally spoke. "What did you see?"

"You. You told me to call you 'Major Whitlock', and you killed my dad and Colin."

I saw the surprise register in his eyes at the mention of "Major Whitlock", but he maintained his control. "How did I kill them, Isabella?" His voice was getting deeper and deeper, with woodsy and husky elements intertwined.

I challenged him. "Why don't you tell me?"

He didn't answer.

"What are you?" I pressed on.

He looked at me for a split second, then swept me into his arms and in one second had me in one of his hooded sweatshirts. It fit me more like a dress than a shirt, but he didn't seem to mind. After securing the hood over my head, he pulled me close to his chest and ran at nauseating speeds outside into the storm.

"Don't worry," he told me, "I'll keep you warm and dry."

He ran me swiftly into the woods, and I was struck by what was happening to me. I was even more struck by the realization that true to his promise, I was indeed warm and dry. I should have been miserable, considering my current physical condition. But I wasn't. I was living. I felt like I had come back from the dead. Once we were a deep distance into the forest, he started climbing up a dense tree all while keeping me tucked safely into his chest. I couldn't comprehend how he was doing that, but I was glad he was.

We reached the top of a tree, hidden behind thick limbs swerving left and right from the wind, but kept safe. I had never seen anything more beautiful, save for the man holding me. The view was astonishing, and as thunderous rain deafened the sounds of the outside world, he finally started to answer my question. "You need to know I don't just drink blood." He said with such ironic simplicity, while wearing a wary expression to gauge my reaction.

I wanted to gasp, to scream, to react someway fitting for when your closest friend admits to drinking blood. But I couldn't do any of those things. In some ways, I wasn't surprised. I had always known he wasn't exactly human, hadn't I? It was scarier to me that I seemed to have no sense of self-preservation than Jasper's admission was. I couldn't give a proper reaction, so I instead just looked at him, willing him to continue.

"Yes, I'm a vampire… But my family and I choose not to drink human blood; we only hunt animals. This is why we've kept you with us. We won't hurt you. But this is why you still need to be careful…" He stopped, tore a large branch from the tree we were perched on, and threw it across the forest sky. It flew so far that I couldn't see where it landed. But I heard it. It made a thud that blended in with the thunder, but almost surpassed nature's natural echoes.

He quirked a brow at me, and awaited my reaction to his demonstration of strength. And once again, it should have scared me. As someone who has lived through abuse, such strength should have crumbled any sort of confidence I had. And I should have explained all of that to him. But I didn't. I simply took his hand into my own trembling grasp, so small and frail in comparison to his masculine palms. I ran my thumb gently down his hand, touching it so lightly that our skin was barely in contact. Even so, I felt him soften under my attention. After his reaction became apparent to me, I just looked at him and said, "You won't hurt me. You don't scare me." I meant it. I had never felt safer. I didn't know if I was ready to trust the entire Cullen family. I didn't know if I could. Not that they had done anything wrong, of course. But if I had learned one thing in life, it was to never trust someone based on surface level impressions.

If I had learned that lesson earlier, maybe things wouldn't have turned out so bad. Maybe Mom's death wouldn't have been for nothing. Maybe Colin Black never would have had the chance to hurt me, and maybe he would still be alive today.

But my impression of Jasper wasn't surface level. I _knew_ him. I still couldn't figure out why he was such a longstanding friend of mine, despite my recent gain of memory. But I knew that I could trust him. Perhaps it had been that he was the only presence in my entire life, tangible or not, that hadn't let me down or disappeared. He had always stood in my defense, whether that was Jasper or "Major Whitlock." I still couldn't understand why my angel had told me subconsciously to call him by a name I didn't know, but that could come later.

As I reflected on my own past, I began to wonder more about his. Given Esme's previous comments on his life of suffering, and my new knowledge on him… I was in awe of the man. He had clearly been through so much, but was still kindhearted enough to keep a measly damaged human safe in the midst of a storm- both figuratively and literally. I admired his strength, but not his physical capabilities. "Jasper, how old are you?"

He lowered his head, and I saw a faint smile threatening to paint itself on his lips. "I don't want to freak you out, darlin'."

I rolled my eyes. "You tell me that you drink blood, and that's okay. You demonstrate to me that you could grind my bones to dust in the blink of an eye, and that's okay. But you're right, a number might be too hard for me to handle. Good thinking."

He smirked and rolled his eyes right back at me before answering. "Okay, okay… Point made," he paused, and held his hands up in mock surrender. His gaze softened. "I was born in Houston, Texas in 1844."

I nodded, trying not to show how caught off guard I was. It made sense, he always acted so much wiser than the average teenage boy- so much more sensitive to those around him. _Wait a second…_

"How do you do the whole emotion thing?"

He looked at me, startled. "The what?"

"I know I'm not imagining that my emotions are always more noticeable and changing around you."

He shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe you noticed that…" He murmured to himself.

I waited for a reply.

"Some vampires have gifts, extra abilities. We don't know for sure what the determining factor is, but Carlisle has a theory that the strongest feature from humanity is brought forth into this life. For example, Edward must have been very good at reading between the lines in humanity because he has the ability now to read minds." I gasped, and he looked at me with a smile.

"He can't read your's, so maybe that means you're just that insanely stubborn in your humanity." He laughed, and I silently thanked whoever was listening that my mind was protected. Now that I had my memories back, I wasn't ready to share them all… particularly with strange men. I felt guilty for a second, because Edward had been such a welcoming presence to me in the past few days. But so had Colin…

"Alice must have had a good sense of how actions play out or premonitions of some sort, for she now has a type of psychic ability. And I, well… I must have been able to easily influence those around me because I can feel and influence the emotions around me." He winked. "You know, because I'm just so charming." He smiled, then furrowed his brow. "I've been trying not to influence you too heavily though. I don't know how you noticed anything."

I shook my head, confused. "My emotions have been super-heightened every time I've been around you Jasper. Every time we touch…" I trailed off, suddenly unsure of myself.

I felt him look at me, but I hid my gaze back into his chest. Eventually, he gave up on finding an answer and pulled me closer to him with a sigh. "We're going to figure all of this out Bella." He moved to take us back to the house, but my simple tug on his sleeve prompted him to stay put. I knew as soon as I returned to the Cullen home, I would have to start dealing with everything. With Colin's death, with Dad, with my injuries and insecurities… I would have to teach myself to speak to and trust those who weren't Jasper. I would have to begin relaying my memories to my surroundings, and I just wasn't ready to do any of that.

So we stayed. And we rested. And we ignored the storm around us. We breathed each other in, somehow knowing what we needed from each other. He held me, and I let him. I trusted him, and he slowly began to trust himself not to hurt me. As we lingered in our safe cocoon, only one question took its home in my head.

"Jasper, who's Major Whitlock?"

And every muscle in his body stiffened.

 **Alright... New contest! Leave a review with a guess at Jasper's reaction, and the closest one will get a sneak peak of the next chapter. :) Reviews are everything so keep em coming. I will post the next chapter if we can get 20 reviews on this one... Let's do it! Love you all.**

 **-loverunknown**


	8. Chapter 8

**So I know I said I was going to hold this chapter out until I had more reviews on the last, but I finished it and just couldn't wait to share. You guys are lucky I love you so much! :) Without further avail, here is the highly requested and much anticipated chapter from Jasper's point of view. Enjoy.**

CHAPTER EIGHT

JASPER'S POINT OF VIEW

I froze. Upon hearing his name called, I could feel my inner demon threatening to break free from his prison cell in my mind. I couldn't let him come out. I couldn't let him hurt Bella. _Bella. Bella. Think about Bella… The beautiful, hurting, trusting girl in your arms._

I felt her move her head from my chest to look up at me. _Worry, anxiety, admiration._ Her emotions confused me. She should have been worried, because I was a monster. She should have been anxious, because I had turned from softy to tense in a matter of seconds. She should not have been admiring me, because at this very moment I was trying not to let loose a part of man that did not care about her.

She had already told me that she spoke to the Major in her dreams, and that broke my heart. At first, I thought maybe the reason I couldn't place her was because it had been the Major she had known all of her life, not me. But even that didn't make sense, because if that were case I would not have known her at all. What killed me was that as a vampire, I was supposed to have the perfect memory. I was supposed to have the answers she needed, and I didn't. What kind of supernatural being was I?

"Jasper, it's okay if you don't want to talk about him." She sweetly offered. Always thinking of me, always worried for comfort of others. I was overwhelmed by the urge to protect her, a strange phenomenon that I had been dealing with since she entered my life. I could feel from my family that they all felt protective over her and wanted to care for her, but I felt more than that. I felt like it was already my personal responsibility and right to guard her from the dangers of this world. I knew that she had already fallen prey to far too many evils. Her gut-wrenchingly raw emotions proved that to me, and I didn't need any explanation from her. She would tell me about her new memories when she was ready, but I didn't want her dwelling on those feelings when she didn't have to. To be honest, I couldn't take it myself.

I needed to answer her. "Bella, I haven't always lived like this."

She nodded; that didn't seem to surprise her. My reaction must have registered on my face, because she quickly explained. "Esme mentioned to me earlier that you've lived through a lot, and she had never seen you…" She trailed off, and I felt her insecurity throw itself at me.

I took her face in my hands, and allowed myself to lose myself in her beautiful brown eyes before addressing her. "She had never seen me what, Bella?" I said softly, trying to find out what Esme had revealed about my life and why my little savior didn't feel at liberty to say it. I wasn't irritated at my mother, because I knew she wouldn't say anything out of ill will. And to be frank, she didn't know enough information to divulge Bella with. I kept myself well hidden in the Cullen house. After my escape from Maria, Edward had found me alone in my thoughts of self-hatred and misery. He had been out on a hunt, and followed my thoughts to my destination. He understood why I felt like such a monster, and told me about Carlisle and his compassion-based diet. From that moment on, I exiled the Major and followed Edward back to the rest of the coven. They had welcomed me wholeheartedly, and that just made me more determined than ever to conceal my past from them.

Of course, they knew who I was. All vampires did. I was Jasper Whitlock, the God of War. I was aware of my worldwide fame, the fame that surpassed even the Volturi. Whispers echoed at all times about my name, and the wind even seemed to bow to my will. It wasn't touching us right now, as we hid ourselves in this tree, because it had seen me do so many unspeakable things that made me untouchable. But despite all of my fame… I fought it. I didn't want to be a monster. So I hid my past from the Cullens as much as I could, never offering any information. I tried to be a good son, a good brother, a good man worthy of their name. I tried to be a gentle presence in the house in exchange for freedom from my past. It was exhausting, creating a new personality for myself. But doing so earned me relationships I did value, no matter the foundations they lacked.

Bella finished her sentence so quietly that I would not have heard it if not for my superhuman abilities. "She had never seen you so open… the way you are with me."

She ducked her head. _Shame._

I never wanted her to feel ashamed or embarrassed, but I also didn't know how to answer her. She was right. I don't know why I felt so open with Bella, but it was undeniably more so than I had been with my own family. It was like Bella was a home. She was so familiar, so right. And she stumped me. I, the God of War, was stumped by the mystery of a human… And slowly but surely, she was opening me back up to feelings. I was closer to humanity than I had been in a long, long time. While it scared me to death, it also was quite the breath of fresh air. That's why, in my mind, she was called my savior.

"Well Bella… she's probably right. I don't know why it's easier with you. I don't know how I know you, or how I've been meeting you in your dreams every night for all your life… But I'm not like this with my family. I don't share quite so much about my past… and the Major, well he's part of my past." I tried not to stumble too much over my words as I offered her that pathetic explanation. I was ashamed of my past, and that did play a part in my skimmed details. However, greater was my concern for her than myself. I didn't want to overwhelm her. She was being unbelievably brave in how she handled this. I had just revealed to her that I was a 172-year-old vampire, and she barely blinked. I was impressed with her strength, but didn't want to test the limits.

She seemed to take that as an answer, and cuddled her head back into my chest… Right where she belonged. _Quit it Jasper. She's clearly going through enough right now, she doesn't need some blood-thirsty guy trying to romance her._ As much as I hated to admit it, the little voice in my head was right. She didn't need a confusing boyfriend, but she did need a protector. That was a role I would happily assume.

"Speaking of pasts…" Her warm little body clenched in my arms. "You don't have to tell me anything right away, but I just want to assure you that I will be here to listen when you're ready." She melted. "And I will protect you from whatever it is that you're hiding from."

I felt her appreciation, and that would have been enough. I was surprised when she answered me verbally. "You always have, angel."

I wanted to tell her I was no angel, that she instead was the only one worthy of that label. But I couldn't bring myself to deny her… If it was an angel she needed, than it was an angel I would be.

Her comment confused me, as her talk about dream-me always did. I should remember protecting her. I should remember what evils she faced. I had the sinking feeling I already knew her domestic horrors, judging by her emotional reactions to thoughts of her father and Colin Black. And if her emotions weren't staggering evidence enough, the stories of her pathetic father and the finger-shaped bruises covering her body were. I wanted to wait until she told me herself to let myself react, because it was her story to tell. I tried not to dwell on it or jump to conclusions, but I had never been so angry as when I pictured someone harming my newfound savior. _How could anyone look into those eyes and cause them any harm?_

One thing was for certain: whenever she was ready to deal with the problem, I would be waiting with wrath to unload and my military expertise to draw on. Her demons would be crushed- I would make sure of it.

I began to move once more to lift her up and take her back to the house when her rumbling stomach reminded me that humans needed to eat more frequently than I did. As I descended down the tree, I was almost brought to my knees by the sheer terror rolling off of her. I looked at her, trying to see if there was any threat near.

There was none, but what I did see upset me more than I expected- my two favorite brown eyes filled with tears. "Bella, talk to me. What are you afraid of?"

She shook her head, embarrassed again. I wasn't going to accept that.

"Sweetheart, I want to help. Let me in."

She breathed in a shaky breath, and let it out with just as much conviction. "Is everyone in your family this strong?"

I nodded, the reason for her terror beginning to dawn on me. "Some more than others, but all vampires have enhanced strength… But Bella, believe me when I say that none of them will harm you… Because if they do, I'll kick their butt." I smiled, trying to get a laugh out of her.

It worked in the slightest as she gave me a weak smile. "I honestly don't know if I can be around your brothers or father for very long right now, but I'll try. I-"

"Shh… You don't have to explain. I understand, and you can tell me more when you're ready. Don't feel guilty either, because everyone in the family knows you've been through a lot lately. They will understand if you aren't feeling very social."

She nodded, trying to calm down. I didn't know if she was trying harder to convince me or herself, but she wasn't doing a great job at either. "Would it be okay if I sent you some peace? I don't want to manipulate your emotions, but I don't want you to be afraid either." It was uncommon for me to ask permission to use my gift, but I didn't want her to feel more out of control than she already did.

"Yes," she sniffed. "That would be okay. Thank you." It was quiet, but it was a yes. I focused on the emotion desired, and then gently drove it into her senses. I could feel the effects of my work starting to take place, and continued my way towards the house.

"I'll make you a deal. I will not leave you alone with any of them unless you ask me to. I will be monitoring your emotions, and if things start getting overwhelming for you then I will find a way to get you out of there."

For the first time since she was terror-stricken at the base of the tree, she smiled with her eyes. As we approached my home, I set her down. She straightened out her clothing, and gave me a wink. "Let's do this then." I could feel her trying to foster her own bravery, and I didn't intervene. Her capabilities were too amazing to me to get involved.

I had figured that Alice would have seen my conversation with Bella, and that she would alert all the family members to the fact that I had told her the truth. I didn't know what their reactions would be, but judging by the scene before me, I was right. I escorted Bella into the living room, where each Cullen was seated in apparent expectance of our arrival. Their emotions hit me like thunder. _Hopefulness from Esme, caution and kindness from Carlisle, happiness from Alice, patience from Edward, excitement from Emmett, and sympathy from Rosalie._ None of them were negative, but Rosalie's did surprise me. I turned to look at her, and she just looked at Bella pointedly.

She must have figured out the reason Bella came to us in such a broken state as well, because her sympathies could only be explained by her shared history of abuse.

I turned my head, not wanting to think about it. I had to be there for Bella, not drag her down. I tuned into my new confidant's emotions. The peace I had put into place was still there, but I could tell I was going to have to monitor her closely. She was fragile.

Carlisle was the first to speak. "Bella," she dug her hands further into my arms. Holding her small frame tightly, I sent her a few ounces of security. Carlisle continued, no doubt noticing the exchange between us. "Bella, we understand that Jasper has revealed our true natures to you. We want you to know we will not hurt you, but we will answer any questions you have. And if you are not comfortable here, then of course you are free to go. We will help you find somewhere to stay and heal until you know where you want to go." I was proud of his kindness and compassion, but my heart skipped beats they weren't even taking at the mention of her leaving. I couldn't be without her, not before we had figured out our connection. I needed answers, and she did too.

Bella cleared her throat timidly and responded with the kind of frail confidence that made everyone in the room love her tenfold. "I know I don't know everything there is to know about your kind yet, but I don't think I can go anywhere else right now… If that's alright with you, of course."

I smiled at her, so proud of my little savior for her strength and thankful that she didn't want to leave. I sensed the entire family's confusion at my unmasked happiness, but it was okay with me. Bella wanted to stay.

We all sat in the living room and talked for a small time while she ate the early dinner Esme gave her. She asked questions, and we answered them as honestly as we could. We told her about how we don't sleep, how there were others of our kind out there, how the change took place, etc. At one point, she even asked about the vampire mating process. It was somewhat awkward, as the only two single people in the room were seated right next to each other while Carlisle explained to her the intimate work of mating. She handled it all with such dignity, and just nodded along as if we were discussing budget cuts for the country. What I was admittedly more thrilled about, however, was that she didn't leave my side all night. I was overjoyed that my presence seemed to calm her, and that she seemed to trust me to be so close. Her energy began wavering after a while, with no room to wonder why. Without a doubt, she had had a long day. As if on cue, she looked at me with an expression that practically shouted, "Can you please get me out of here now?"

I honored my deal, and quickly asked the family to excuse us as I helped Bella prepare for bed. It might have been too early for bed, but no one could blame her for wanting to retire to her room. Once we arrived at her door, I asked her what she wanted to do for the next few hours before she fell asleep.

She seemed to consider my question heavily, as if it were the most daunting one in the world. "Could we watch a movie?"

I agreed heartily, not really minding whatever we did as long as she was comfortable. She picked out a movie from our vast collection and put it in the DVD player before I looked at what it was, but I couldn't stop myself from laughing when I saw the menu take the screen. Out of the millions of movies we owned, she had picked one of the only ones we had that took place during the civil war. I, of course, had many of my own in my private study that were not included in the family's collection.

She looked up, confused by my laughter. "What? Is something wrong with this movie?" Her worry was so adorable, I almost couldn't tell her. But, knowing how rude that was made me decide against it.

"Nothing is wrong. I really like war movies, and I was surprised we had such similar taste."

She nodded, missing my very obvious hint. I had told her earlier when I was born, but she hadn't put the timing of my humanity together with the war yet. "I've always loved to study wars. I had a few ancestors in the civil war, and so I've always liked to watch movies about it. That's why I picked this one."

I wanted to hear more about her ancestors, but I didn't want to distract her once she started the movie so I held my tongue. She snuggled herself into me, and I responded by wrapping an arm around her. It was about 15 minutes into the movie when my previous comment seemed to dawn on her. I tried not to laugh. "Hey, Jasper?" She asked with interest laced in her voice.

"Yes Bella?" I responded, mimicking her enthusiasm.

"You said you were born in 1844, right?"

"I did." I didn't volunteer the information she sought, because I was enjoying watching her put all the pieces together in her mind.

She turned to look at me, eyes full of wonder. "Did you… Did you fight in the war?"

 _Oh darlin', you shouldn't be looking at me with so much admiration. If only you knew what came of that war…_ I kept my expression light. "I did. Congrats on figuring it out, ma'am." I offered, tipping my head while letting my true accent come on thick. I played every bit the southern gentleman, and it was easy reverting back to my upbringing.

She giggled, and I felt her awe pouring off of her. "That's incredible. Does this movie do it any justice?"

I rolled my eyes, and had to stop myself from launching into the world's longest detail on Hollywood's failures on my passion. "It was like this, but a whole lot less cheesy and a whole lot more scary. And you know… not at all like this." I gave her an easy smile.

She giggled again, which was quickly becoming my favorite song in the world. We stayed like that for a while. The movie kept playing, but we were more interested in discussing the historic event of my time. I kept the conversation light, and shied away from any inquiry about my rankings. I didn't want to get into the territory of my change, and I was surprised at how much fun it was to discuss the war with someone just as interested as I was but unaware of the looming doom it brought me. It allowed me to look back fondly at pride and joy as a human without the life it cost me.

We laughed, and talked, and I surprised her by correcting much of her textbook knowledge of the war to what actually happened. I was impressed by how invested she was in it, and she seemed to be fascinated by my accounts.

Eventually she fell asleep, mumbling something about continuing the conversation with "dream Jasper," and I was sorry I wouldn't get to take part in it.

It was such a fun, carefree night that I had almost been able to forget about the Major trying to poke his head out of exile. I had been so close, and then Bella started talking in her sleep. It would have been adorable if she hadn't started with, "Yes, Major. I understand."

 **How did you guys like getting Jasper's perspective? Most of the story will be written from Bella's, but there will definitely be more from Mr. Whitlock. New review contest: every review will be entered into a drawing to get to make a decision in the plot. I will give the winner two choices, and whichever they pick is the direction I will take. You may review different times in order to get your name in more if you so desire! I will even open it up to reviews on any chapter of the story thus far. On your mark... Get set... GO!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Enjoy! This is mostly Bella's dream and a little bit of her waking up, but I thought it was a good place to end.**

CHAPTER NINE

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

 _Here I was, face to face with the angel uncloaked to be a vampire. I looked into his eyes that still shone red from the last subconscious instance._

 _"_ _Isabella, I see my boy Jasper has revealed our little secret to you."_

 _I shook my head in confusion, not understanding. "Excuse me Major, but aren't you Jasper?"_

 _He responded with a short, abrupt laugh. "He likes to pretend I'm not." After a short pause, he tilted his head and asked, "Would you like to hear the story?"_

 _Considering it for a moment, I debated the pros and cons in my mind. I would love to hear more, but I didn't know if this was how I wanted to find out. "Thank you, but I think I should wait until you- Jasper- both of you are ready to tell me," I explained, giving myself a headache._

 _He nodded, and returned his gaze to the door… Watching for the next intruders, I presume._

 _"_ _Are you- are you expecting someone?"_

 _He turned to me, and sent me waves of security. "There are very few people stupid enough to come after the mate of the God of War. You are safe, Isabella."_

 _I almost choked, frantic after hearing his words. "Excuse me? What did you say?"_

 _Smiling, he sat down next to me and ran a hand through my hair. "Don't tell me you didn't know."_

 _I was still stumbling over my thoughts, much less capable of forming a proper sentence. Carlisle had informed me of the vampire mating rituals. There was supposedly a moment where everything clicked, and there was unbearable pain in the chest each time a mate was far away. The soul knew its mate, and there was a gripping pull towards that person. A hole in the heart only filled by their presence. Mate connections were supposed to be stronger than the abilities of life and the boundaries of death._

 _How could it be that I was the mate of such a marvelous man? Was I ready to have a mate? Did I even want a mate? Did this mean I was to become a vampire?_

 _While I mulled these thoughts over, he lifted my face to meet his eyes. "I can feel how I make you feel," he ran a thumb across my cheek. "I can feel how you get anxious without me, during the day." The thumb traced my lips. "And I can feel how that anxiety has dulled now that I can be with you while the sun is up." His thumb lingered on my lips, drawing himself closer. "You must know we belong together."_

 _Like the military man he was, he didn't wait for permission. He took what he wanted, but in a way that made me feel more cherished than any person or item in the world. As his lips crashed onto mine, I understood so much more about the world. I understood what it meant to die to yourself to love someone else. I understood how men and women could promise each other forever and mean it- something I had always struggled with. I understood the fact that in one moment, one single touch with another person could change your entire perspective on life._

 _While my eyes closed, I saw an entire world of possibilities. I saw flashes of screaming color, yet so soft that its allure crept up on me all at the same time. I saw a bright sunrise, and a warm sunset to match it. I could feel all of his emotions and passions pouring into me, multiplying my own._

 _The kiss ended far too soon when he tore himself away, leaving me breathless. He smirked upon seeing my reaction. "Do you still doubt that we're mates?"_

 _My head was spinning, and I couldn't even process his words as my mind reeled from that kiss. While I mulled over his question, he pulled me close to his chest. "Do you feel how peaceful it is when we're together this way?" He then let go, and moved a few steps away. My anxiety climbed 10 notches. "And now when we aren't touching, there is a dull ache in your core, isn't there?"_

 _I weakly nodded, not caring what I was agreeing to as long as he returned to his place next to me. He did, and did so with a somewhat startling and completely arousing growl. "Answer me, Isabella." He commanded, taking my face into his hands._

 _Feeling the overwhelming love and devotion coming from his touch, I smiled. "Yes, Major. I understand."_

 _He smiled proudly at my answer, and the power of his affection brought me to my knees. I was in shock over how much this angel cared for me. It was unlike anything I had ever known. With an abusive father, and no friends growing up… This kind of attention blew me away. I felt tears spring to my eyes, and that's when he sunk down to my level._

 _"_ _What have I done to make you cry? Is Charlie back?" He asked, looking over his shoulder and remembering all the other times he had wordlessly wiped away my tears from my father._

 _"_ _No… I just…" I trailed off, unable to speak out of gratitude. So I simply sent him all of my emotions- awe, thankfulness, and unworthiness._

 _He looked at me sternly. "Isabella, I want to make one thing clear. You are my mate, and you are more exquisite than any other woman I've ever laid eyes on. I don't ever want you to feel unworthy. Do we have an understanding?"_

 _I simply smiled and repeated my previous words. "Yes Major… I understand." And I pulled him closer to me, earning a chuckle. He dipped his head towards mine and kissed me once more. It was still astonishingly perfect._

 _Once he drew his mouth from mine, he sighed contentedly. "I've been waiting 18 years to kiss you like that."_

 _When my face showed my surprise, he whispered, "Happy birthday, Isabella." With that, he released me back into consciousness._

Stone cold arms were around me, and I snuggled deeper into them hoping to somehow be lulled back to sleep. Back to those feelings of being desired and loved- who knew they actually existed? I smiled into my rock-hard pillow, remembering the kisses of the night with his split persona. I was still entirely confused about the whole thing. They were clearly the same person, so why did they choose to live separately? The Major spoke as if it were Jasper's doing, like he was just a figment of Jasper's imagination that was kept locked in a cell. So why did I have a lifetime with the Major that Jasper couldn't remember?

And most of all, why did I not feel the miserable pull in my heart now that I wasn't with the Major? Did it mean I was Jasper's mate as well, and so I was still with him? Did Jasper feel that way about me? Did I feel that way about Jasper?

I looked up at his face, studying me intently with two honey colored eyes. The way they made me melt told me that yes, I very well did. I struggled to keep my head up as I remembered his gift of empathy, knowing he would feel my not-so-friendly desires. I wished more than anything there was a way to block him, just this once, until I was ready to talk.

His face scrunched up in confusion. "How did you do that?" He asked, annoyance coloring his words.

"Do what?"

"I was starting to sense a new emotion from you, and then you just shut it off."

What? Had my wish come true? Did the fates suddenly decide I had enough torture and cut me some slack? I blushed, burying my head back into his chest. "I'm sorry." I mumbled, offering no explanation.

He laughed. "No you aren't. But it's okay."

I lifted my face up and smiled at him.

"Do you remember what today is, Bella?" He asked, a smile playing on his lips. There was excitement dancing in his eyes. Apparently he had something planned for the day.

I nodded. "I believe you just reminded me that it's my birthday."

He sighed, frustrated. "What else did I tell you, Bella?"

I looked down and took a preparatory breath. _Here we go…_ I knew I had to tell him about the conversation. There was no way I could avoid it forever, especially taking my newly discovered feelings into account. But there was also no way of knowing how he would react. Would he be angry at me? At the Major? Disgusted? It was impossible to know. While I mulled my diction over in my head, he spoke again.

His deep, husky voice caught me off guard. "Or shall I ask what the Major told you?"

 **Hey guys! So my birthday is tomorrow and I don't know if I will have the chance to update all day. Don't be too frustrated if I don't post! :) I will do as much as I can. I'd also like to tell you guys about another story I started last night. It's called The Orphanage, and it takes on a lot of colors that I think will turn out pretty well. Go check it out if you have the chance!**

 **Love you guys so much.**

 **-loverunknown**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you everyone for your kind reviews and birthday wishes. I had a great day! :) I would also like to apologize for not updating for a few days, but I needed to take some time to myself to get re-inspired. Without further ado, here's the chapter. Enjoy! Also ps shoutout to witchyred for winning the contest... She got to decide that Bella would tell Jasper about her dream!**

CHAPTER TEN

 _Oh, crap. Crap crap crap crap crap._ I repeated the mantra in my head for a solid ten minutes, trying to figure out the words to give Jasper. I was already confused enough, and then he mentioned the Major. I struggled to speak, grasping for straws to find the words to stall him.

"I don't know Jasper. Did he tell you anything?" I asked, trying to turn the question on him for information.

His eyes darkened in response. "I try not to let him tell me anything." He said sharply. I winced in response, trying not to be intimidated by this new side of Jasper. I wasn't really afraid, just taken off guard by the emotional intensity of the situation.

My voice barely rose above a whisper, but I knew he would hear me. "Maybe you should let him."

"Bella, do you prefer him over me?" His strained voice concerned me. It was no matter of preference. I understood now that I belonged with both of them, and I wouldn't hurt either of them over the other.

My shock radiated through my response. "Jasper, he's a part of you." I reached for his hair softly, trying to caress him back to sanity.

"No! Don't say that!" He responded loudly, his hold on me tightening. "He's in the past. He doesn't have a place anymore." I could see the war raging in his eyes, and I couldn't tell if he was fighting harder to convince me or himself.

"Jasper," I placed a hand on his chest, willing our connection to work in my favor. "Come back to me." I pleaded. I couldn't have a sensible conversation about my feelings if he was unstable.

He looked down at me and I saw half of his resolve soften. "Bella, you can't trust him. He's a monster. He hurts people." He was crumbling before me, and I couldn't take seeing him in so much angst. "Don't try to tell me we're the same person. I fight so hard to be different. Please tell me you understand, Bella. Please." He all but begged, and I knew he would be in tears if he were a human.

I considered his point of view. I didn't know all the details, but I did know what it was like to want to escape from your past so desperately that you'd do just about anything. I said the only thing I could. "You aren't a monster Jasper."

His voice broke. "Then who am I?"

My confidence faltered, but the Major's words from the previous night came back to me. _"I don't ever want you to feel unworthy."_

I had promised the Major, and I didn't want to go back on my word so soon. Gathering strength from my subconscious angel, I said the words I knew would complicate the situation even further. "You're Jasper Whitlock, the god of war, and my mate."

I waited, and I waited. And then I waited a little bit more. My angel seemed stunned into silence, and I was nervous to look up at him. I knew that his reaction would determine so many things, and I didn't know if I was ready to face any of them. After several more moments, curiosity overcame my insecurity and I peered up into his face. I was halfway pleased to find a torn smile gracing his lips, while his eyes were closed in a seeming contest between happiness and worry. "Don't push me away. Please." I whimpered. I couldn't stand the thought of walking away from him now. It simply couldn't happen.

At my words, he lowered his eyes and opened them to reveal a heartbreakingly beautiful combination of self-hatred and love. His eyes held the world. There was light, a light that was uncontested by any ray of sunlight that had ever spilled onto my skin. It shone down on me, and solved all of the world's mysteries. There was truth, a truth that made every lie of the earth quiver in fear. It was both tender and maddening. There was hope, a hope that could wake the strongest slumber. It consumed my soul. There was love, the same love that the Major had poured into our kiss. It renewed me, and made me feel more beautiful than I had ever dreamed possible.

But there was also darkness, a darkness that cast a shadow on all of these other splendors and threatened to steal any chance either of us had at salvation.

"Please let me in Jasper."

He broke. Pulling me even tighter into his arms, he buried his head into my shoulder and cried out with tears he could never relieve himself of. "Bella… I can't ever outrun him. I can't get rid of him. He's always there, lurking in the shadows of my mind. Living this way is exhausting." He yelled.

I did the only thing I could do. I held him, caressed him, and I stayed strong while he needed me to be. No words could heal these wounds, so I tried to pour out as much love and support as I could to him.

He drew his head back and looked at me incredulously. "How can you feel such love when you've known him all your life?"

My heart broke for him, and I tried to find the words that would make him understand why I loved every part of him- including the Major. "He has been a constant savior. He's been the only constant thing in my life that hasn't hurt me. He's given me the will to wake up every morning, and the faith to know that someday he would rescue me. And I was right… Because you have rescued me." I touched his face tenderly as his body shook against mine. "Don't hate him Jasper. I love you… All of you." I was conflicted. While I was confident in my feelings, I was suddenly nervous. I had laid every card I had on the table, and there was no way to conceal them from him any longer.

His eyes filled with such intensity that tears filled my eyes. "Isabella Marie Swan," he lowered his face, and his breath tingled on my cheek as his electrifying lips brushed my ear. He paused, and inhaled sharply as he nuzzled his nose to my neck. "How could you have any doubt?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but was unable to find my voice as my head dizzied at his proximity to mine.

"How could you have any doubt that I love you?" His eyes burnt into mine, and the air around us stilled. I quivered, and our faces drew closer, closer, and closer until there was but a centimeter in between. Closer.

Lips met, and I could no longer tell which belonged to me and which belonged to him. I could no longer tell if my heart was beating, and I could no longer tell if there was a world outside. That's probably why I couldn't tell what miserable thing was transpiring in the house with us.

 **Review review review! Can't wait to hear what y'all think!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi guys! I know I haven't updated in forever, but college has taken up all my time this semester. I'm off for break though, so I will be using this time to hopefully finish this story as well as progress in my other story, The Orphanage. I'd really appreciate it if y'all checked that one out sometime! Also, I will be posting some one-shots I've had in the can for a while now. :) I love you guys. Thanks for reading, and I don't own anything.**

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I could have spent the rest of my life right there, in that bed, kissing Jasper. I could have been put through hell and back just to stay in his arms and surrender myself to his perfectly sculpted lips. Unfortunately 20 minutes would have to do, because the world seemed to have other plans for us. He was the first to react to the call of his sister Alice, and reluctantly broke our kiss.

I was a mess. My breathing was labored, my hair was all over the place, and my lips were nice and swollen. I couldn't find it in myself to be self-conscious though, just like the Major had wanted. I smirked at my mate, and he rolled his eyes before kissing my hand and whispering, "Don't move." I grinned devilishly and stayed right where I was while he practically flew down the stairs. I couldn't hear much of what was going on, and merely sat annoyed with the world for interrupting the most perfect moment I had ever experienced. I let my mind drift back into those soft but demanding kisses, where Jasper's lips tangled with mine into the most passionate knot ever tied. I knew I should be feeling all sorts of alarm now that I realized I was staying in a house full of… vampires, but I truthfully felt safer than I ever had in the arms of this vampire. I felt myself getting weak all over again, and felt a surge of excitement when he walked back into the room.

I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to come back to my newest favorite hobby and grew impatient when he just stood there, looking at me. "You coming?"

He looked at me with sadness and my heart skipped a beat. Why couldn't we just have one moment of peace? "What's wrong?" Concern laced my voice, though I tried to hide it.

His features lightened. "Oh God Bella, no. I'm sorry. I should have been more considerate of how it looked." A smile broke his face and he walked over to me. Taking my face in his hands, he kissed the tip of my nose. "I was simply frustrated that my big birthday plans for you were being interrupted." He winked at me, and I felt a blush accompany the relief that flooded my system.

"Well then, what is happening?" I asked once more, my tone lighter. As long as I got to spend my birthday with this beautiful angel, I knew I'd be happy.

He grimaced in between pressing chaste but passionate kisses to my still-swollen lips. "It appears that my family has a celebration planned for you tonight. They want you to have a happy day where you don't have to focus on anything else. I know you don't like a lot of attention, so I can tell them no if you want."

I was frozen. I hated parties and things like that, and I didn't necessarily love the idea of being in a room with all those males at once. At the same time, I was unbelievably grateful to the Cullens for going out of their way to make me feel special when they didn't have to. I looked into Jasper's face, and I could see how much his family meant to him. I didn't know every detail of his struggle, but I knew the Cullens helped him immensely in getting through his past. I knew what I had to do.

He took my hesitation as a no, and started speaking before I could tell him my decision. "It's okay Bella, none of them will be upset. Okay, well Alice might be disappointed, but she'll get over it when I buy her a new outfit." He smiled and tried to joke away the awkward situation.

I shook my head with a little more determination. "No Jasper, I want this party." My voice cracked. _Crap._ I'd have to try that one again.

"Nice try, Isabella. We won't have the party."

I gave him my prettiest pout, hoping it was at least somewhat charming. Then I leaned in for a slow, sensual and convincing kiss. The way our tongues danced together made me feel both beautiful and powerful. "Baby, I think I really need this happy memory. Please let me have it."

He pulled back. "Not that I'm complaining about your chosen method of persuasion, but you do realize that I can feel your emotions, right? I know what you're doing." I simply responded with another kiss. It was really the only tool I had in my arsenal, so I'd use it to the death. He looked me in the eyes and sighed. "Okay Bella, I'll let you continue to be selfless. But before the party I'm treating you to something I know you'll like better. Get dressed in something you'll be warm in, and let me know when you're ready." He paused on his way out of the door. "Do you need any help getting ready?" He asked, gesturing to my injuries.

I blushed. "Would you mind sending Alice up?"

No sooner had I said it than Alice appeared in the doorway. "No problem, Bella. Shoo, Jasper. I have work to do." She all but shoved her favorite brother out of the way and shut the door quickly before capturing me in the most unexpectedly tight hug from such a small person I had ever experienced. "Jasper's been hogging you. Happy birthday Bella!" I winced, and she remembered my bruises. "Oh! Sorry!"

"It's okay Alice, and thank you." I smiled warmly, grateful for her assistance.

"Of course!" She chirped and then jumped right into action. She helped me into the shower, picked out my "birthday outfit number one", and prepped my hair and makeup. I wasn't used to paying this much attention to any of my appearance, but she insisted it was necessary. The fact that it was my birthday just elevated it that much more.

While she worked, I let my mind wander to the day ahead of me. I was dying to know what Jasper had planned, but I knew whatever it was would be amazing. He had yet to let me down, and I would honestly be happy with anything as long as my mate was there to experience it with me. It sounded so cliché, but I couldn't deny my excitement. The party, however, was another story. Everything about it filled me with anxiety. I hoped I was able to put up a good show, but I also hoped Jasper was ready for me to be a little clingy. I knew I would be relying heavily on him for strength and peace.

"Did you hear me, Bella?" Alice asked, impatience trying to seep through her voice.

"Oh, sorry Alice. I guess my mind was elsewhere. What did you say?"

Her gaze softened. "It's alright. I was asking how you were dealing with everything now that you know who we are."

The casual manner in which she asked her question made me laugh, but also put me at ease. It was a lot better than a family-wide discussion. "I always knew you guys weren't human. It makes sense and I feel safer here than I did in the real world. I don't mind." I paused. "Besides, I'll support anything Jasper is a part of. How could something be so terrible if it yields such great products?"

Alice brushed my hair thoughtfully before answering. "That's very big of you Bella, but I hope you understand the danger of being involved with someone of our kind. Not everyone is like us."

"I love him, Alice." I blushed, but I had no shame in my feelings. They were the only right pieces of my universe.

"I know you do. And I'm so thankful. You've made my brother an entirely new person." She smiled and came to the other side of the chair to look at me. "When I first found him in a diner all those years ago, I didn't need to be an empath to sense his self loathing. He has loosened up some, but he was missing the piece that would allow him full healing. He's found it in you."

I felt tears well up at her sweet endearment, and quietly thanked her before I really lost it.

"Well Bella, you're done! Jasper is waiting downstairs to whisk you away. Just remember to be back by 4:00 for the party." I looked at myself in the mirror, and gasped. I didn't look near as damaged as I had for the past few days. I wasn't overdone, but I was clean and fresh.

"Thank you Alice. For… everything."

"Anytime Bella. Now go to your mate! He doesn't like to be kept waiting." She winked and left me alone in the room. I slowly made my way down the stairs, and would have been really grand about it if I hadn't tripped down that darned fourth step.

Thankfully, a pair of pale angel arms caught me before I hit the ground and slipped down the rest of them. I looked into my savior's eyes. "Thank you."

He kissed my lips slowly as he made his way smoothly down the remaining steps, me in his arms. "Anytime. You look beautiful, by the way." Blood rushed to my face for what seemed like the millionth time that hour, and he laughed. "Let's go start this birthday, little darlin'." And he whisked me out of the door.

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	12. Chapter 12

**Another chapter, as promised! This is a little bit of Jasper/Bella fluff, but I thought the two deserved a nice day out.**

CHAPTER TWELVE

I didn't know how long I'd live, but I was pretty certain I wouldn't ever be used to running with Jasper in the time I was given. Clinging tightly to his back, I witnessed a wide array of colors, blending from one blade of grass to the next as we quickly raced through the forest. At first I thought he was taking me to a simple nature spot, such as a meadow or cave. That was the only real experience I had running with him, and he couldn't really take me out since I was technically a missing person.

I expected him to slow down after a few minutes of running, but he never slowed for us to reach our destination. _Where are we going?_ He must have felt my confusion and anticipation growing after about 20 minutes of holding onto him. He turned and looked up at me with a twinkle in his eye and mischievous grin on his face. "Do you have something you'd like to ask, Bella?"

I fought the urge to roll my eyes at him, and decided that two could play at that game. "No sir. Just happy to be along for the ride!"

I could see his excitement and ego deflate when he realized I wasn't going to ask. In my stubbornness, I smirked. I could suck it up and wait for an answer, just to win. He quickly recovered from my counter and played right along with the game we had started. "Darlin', I'll take you on any ride you ever want to go on." His eyebrows wiggled suggestively, and he answered my deep blush with a wink. I didn't reply. He knew he had won.

After running what had to be another hour, we arrived at a car rental place. I looked up at him in disbelief. "Seriously? We run for an hour and a half for you to rent a car?"

He just smiled and kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday Bella," and led me into the building. I didn't pay much attention while Jasper went directly to the front and spoke to the man behind the counter. I let my thoughts wander to marvel at where life had taken me in a few short days. I was living with the most generous people I had ever met, made a new best friend, fallen in love, discovered the man behind my lifelong dreams, and was now celebrating my birthday in a random car rental building outside of… My thoughts stopped when I realized I had no idea where we were. What if someone saw me and Charlie found out?

As if on cue, Jasper waltzed over to me swinging the keys around his fingers. He pulled me close to his side and whispered delicately in my ear. "Why the sudden anxiety? You're safe with me."

I buried my head in the crook of his shoulder. "Where are we? What if Charlie finds us?"

He took my face into his hands and looked me directly in the eyes, unwilling to let me escape from his bold gaze of love and protection. "I wouldn't bring you anywhere I thought was unsafe. We're in Pennsylvania."

My jaw dropped. "Like the state?"

"Yes Bella, like the state. You fell asleep for some of the run, but it only took about 2 hours to get here. I'm sorry I did it that way, but it was the quickest. We have 3-4 hours to spend here before we need to head back for your party."

I wanted to be a human and argue all of the logical fallacies of the situation, but I knew it would be pointless. I just shook my head, trying to accept this information without really thinking too hard about it.

"C'mon sweetheart. We have a car waiting outside and I think you'll like where we take it."

I took his hand and followed him outside, to the awaiting bright red convertible. I didn't know much about cars, but I could tell this was a good one. It had that classic look to it, and knowing Jasper it probably cost a pretty penny to rent for the day. I looked up to check the sky and found it to be overcast with clouds, so I felt better knowing we wouldn't have to worry about covering up my sparkly mate from curious onlookers. He opened my door, ever the perfect southern gentleman, and helped me slide into my seat before making his way to his own. We listened to all of my favorite songs as he drove entirely too fast, and he tried to distract me with conversation. We talked about his human memories of birthdays growing up. He didn't remember much, but recollected that his parents always scraped up the money to buy him one gift, usually a wooden toy.

I stared at him in amazement while he spoke, completely awestruck at the fact that I was listening to my boyfriend talk about his life in the 1800s.

"Speaking of my upbringing…" He trailed off as we pulled up to our destination. I had been so distracted listening to his stories that I hadn't even realized we were so close to arrival.

I looked at the sign at the front of the parking lot, then back at him. "You brought me to Gettysburg?"

He smiled at me sheepishly while he opened my car door and helped me out. "I haven't ever come back to see it. I thought, since you liked to study the Civil War, it would be a nice thing to just share with you." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking like a nervous human boy asking me to prom. "We can leave if you'd rather do something else. It is your birthday, after all."

I cut him off with a deep kiss to the lips. He responded passionately, and pulled me in to kiss me deeper. After I was running out of breath, I pulled back. "I am so touched that you would share this part of your history with me. Thank you Jasper… This is already an incredible birthday."

Looking deep into my eyes, he appeared to be searching for something. He must have found it, because he rewarded me with a smile so filled with emotion that my heart almost exploded. I would do anything, go anywhere with him just to see this man smile like that again. He altered our position so his arm was around my shoulders before leading us forward into the battleground park.

To say that I was deeply moved was an understatement. As a history nerd myself, I was already sucked into the significance of the place. But to watch Jasper go through it with me, now that was something to behold. He was a living piece of history walking the grounds, and he gently explained everything to me in ways that no trained park tour-guide could have ever dreamt of. I could tell he was emotional, but he kept himself together well enough to enjoy the experience. As we walked through a field, he suddenly stopped and pointed to an empty patch of grass. I didn't see any sign with a historical explanation, so I was filled with confusion.

He slowly began to move us to the spot, and I followed with a careful concern. "Jasper?"

"Here." He said, just barely loud enough for me to hear.

"What happened here?" I gently asked, trying to be soothing with my tone.

"One of my closest friends and I were shot here. There used to be a bush."

I looked up at him, shocked. Never before had he mentioned any of his military friends, and certainly not that he had ever been hit.

"His name was William. He was well on his way to outranking me, or so he always tried to convince me." He gave a subtle laugh before continuing. "We were hidden behind the bush, shooting behind that tree over there when the bullets came our way. He died instantly, and one of my privates had to come stitch me up roughly because I wouldn't leave him."

"Oh, Jasper…"

"We both came from the same area of Texas. We grew up together, and got back in touch with the war."

"You never mentioned him."

"I guess I had almost forgotten until I saw this spot. To the rest of the world, he's just one of 50,000. To me, he was a little piece of home on the battlefield."

I looked down at the spot of plantation, and tried to picture a human version of the man I love, writhing in pain on the ground out of stubborn refusal to leave his dead best friend. I could see it, and the picture filled my heart with pride.

"I'm so sorry that you lost him, Jasper."

He didn't reply, but simply raised his hand in a silent salute to the ground. The beautiful tribute to his long gone friend and comrade brought tears to my eyes, and I just squeezed his hand before joining him.

After he knelt down to touch the ground, he stood to keep moving. I didn't want to keep him here if he needed to move on, so I decided to lighten the mood. "Have I ever thanked you for your service? I think you're supposed to thank veterans."

He rolled his eyes at me while we walked, giving me a side grin before answering. "I believe I was on the losing side, Bella. Most Americans today would probably stone me if they knew I fought for the confederacy."

"I'm sure you had your reasons. Wanting to stand up for your state doesn't mean you were a slave owner."

He hung his head and laughed. "Nevertheless, I believe you're only supposed to thank the heroes."

I reached on the tips of my toes to kiss him on the cheek. "You're my hero."

He simply shook his head at me and kept walking. As we made our way through the fields, I was once again taken aback as I reminded myself that I was touring Gettysburg with a surviving Confederate soldier. _What has my life turned into?_ I laughed at myself. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

We stopped to have a picnic lunch, which was really beautiful. Jasper had arranged for a complete meal to be prepared for me and delivered, complete with a basket and blanket. I was giddy as we sat and talked. While I consumed my food, I listened to the love of my life entertain me with more military stories. He told me about the pranks they used to pull on Union soldiers, and how he made sure his men were always the best at them. "If the war had been based on sheer immaturity and cleverness, our pranks would have won it for us. Those rotten Yankees couldn't handle what a few cowboys threw at them." He laughed heartily at the memories. He ran a hand through his long curly locks before settling down a little bit. "I don't ever talk about this with anyone. It feels good. Thank you for coming with me."

I reached out to take his hand, finishing my sandwich. "Thank you for bringing me here. I know I already said it, but this has truly been the best birthday I've ever had."

He helped me up, and grinned as he replied. "The day isn't over, little lady. It's about time to head back for your party that you're so excited about."

I just rolled my eyes and kissed him. I would have been perfectly content to continue doing so if I had known what that stupid party held.

 **REVIEW CONTEST: leave me a guess as to what will happen at the party. The winner will be able to name an upcoming character! Thanks for reading. Love you all.**


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